Loneliness is a slow burn as you go day after day without the connections and intimacy needed to feel fully alive. The changes in society over the past decades have resulted in more people than ever feeling disconnected. For example, I read that 30% of adults experience loneliness on a weekly or even daily basis, that one in four adults will never marry, and that at least 12% of people report having no significant friendships.
There are many theories about how we got to this point, but technology and the breakdown of the family unit are the top contenders.
Loneliness is different for someone who has a relationship with Jesus than for someone who doesn’t. Jesus has promised to never leave us nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). He is with us always, and if we draw close to Him, He will draw close to us (James 4:8). Remembering this is a game changer when it comes to dealing with loneliness, but it is still difficult.
The place to begin is acknowledging that you’re lonely and that it hurts. Instead of fighting it, lean into it. Isaiah 45:3 says, “I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness—secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name” (NLT).
Could it be that loneliness is a precious invitation to get to know the Lord better? God made us to be in community, to connect with other people, but sometimes we walk through lonely seasons, and there is something to be discovered there, which is a closeness with Jesus and the peace that comes from knowing that He will never forsake you.
Once you have leaned into the loneliness and let it deepen your relationship with Jesus, it can also be helpful to look for practical things you can do to build community. Yes, it will cost some time, and it might stretch you out of your comfort zone, but it’s worth it. And if you’re steady in your relationship with the Lord, you will be able to handle people coming in and out of your life until you find those precious ones who will stick around.
These few words can’t capture the full scope of the journey, but what I’m trying to say is if you’re lonely, don’t panic. If you have Jesus you’re not alone, and there’s a gift to be found in the quiet.