Twenty years ago, I was in a car accident. Thankfully, it wasn’t too serious, but somehow it left quite a scar on me. I became afraid to travel by car, especially on highways. I dreaded the thought of even getting into a vehicle. This was unfortunate, as I was involved in humanitarian trips bringing much-needed help to the refugee camps in Croatia.
My heart was torn. I felt fear and a desire for self-preservation, but also a longing to help people who had it much worse than me. Generally, the latter prevailed, but it felt like torture to enter that van! I would try to find some excuse as to why someone else could go instead of me. Eventually, I would get in the van, and would suffer and cringe all the way to the destination. With my eyes closed I would break out in a cold sweat. It felt like a panic attack that lasted hours.
My family and coworkers would often try to help me, pray for me, humor me, whatever they could do. Sometimes people would try to minimize my fear with comments such as: “But it’s nothing, what are you worrying about?” I felt so alone in my pain, as if no one could really understand what I was going through. I also felt humiliated.
This went on for several years. Eventually, however, the panic attacks subsided, surely thanks to many prayers and much encouragement.
One turning point I remember with fondness was when things got so bad that I had to sit in the back seat of the van. I couldn’t even look at the road ahead. At one point my 14-year-old son sat beside me and whispered, “Just hold my hand.” That’s all. I held his hand for the rest of the trip. There were no words, just this simple act.
I was moved to tears. A young boy had found the key to reach me, calm me down, and comfort me. No words, no judgment, just empathy and comfort. It was what I needed and it helped bring about my healing.
I still travel down that highway that used to cause me such pain and fear, and I recall that it was there that I experienced how much love and comfort holding someone’s hand can bring. And there is even greater help available to us when we reach for our Father’s hand. “I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, ‘Do not fear; I will help you’” (Isaiah 41:13 NIV).