Forgiveness is never easy, but often the person we have the hardest time forgiving is ourselves. It’s so easy to remember all the times we made mistakes and let ourselves and others down. After all, who knows all the details better than we do?
The first thing we need to realize is that, although we made a mistake, that mistake is not who we are. It may have, in a way, shaped the path our life has taken, but God has promised that “all things work together for good to those who love God” (Romans 8:28 NKJV). He can take even our mistakes and use them for good, if we let Him!
When we live in the past, we can’t move toward a better future. Remorse and self-loathing are like chains that tie us down and keep us from moving on and seeing God at work in our lives.
God doesn’t condemn us for our faults if we sincerely repent, and we shouldn’t condemn ourselves either. “As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us” (Psalm 103:12). “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come” (2 Corinthians 5:17).
That reminds me of one of my favorite stories from the Gospels found in John chapter 8. The Pharisees brought an adulterous woman to Jesus to see if He would condemn her according to the laws of Moses, which said that she should be stoned. The answer that Jesus gave cut them to the heart: “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” The people left one by one starting with the oldest in the crowd. When they had all left, Jesus said, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus answered her with words that bring hope to my heart, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.” (See John 8:3–11.)
When you’re tempted to get down on yourself, remember the words of Christ: “Neither do I condemn you.” The Bible says, “His mercy is everlasting” (Psalm 100:5 NKJV). Let His mercy wash over you and cleanse you from your guilt, remorse, and self-loathing. “For God so loved the world” (John 3:16). Not only does He love the world, He loves you personally, as imperfect as you might be, and He wants you to live a life of joy and purpose in Him.