My husband and I are nearing our golden anniversary—50 years together. I am trying to figure out if we were made for one another or if we molded together over time. I suspect it’s a bit of both. For the first few years, our relationship was somewhat awkward. We differed in both our backgrounds and our personalities. He was an exuberant, Don Quixote type Latin, and I was a rather quiet, practical, no-nonsense North American. Yet, I think that we were “made for one another” in that our gifts complement each other. He thinks up the most extraordinary activities, and I am right behind him organizing the events and putting the ideas into motion. So, in the end, I believe we have made a good team. We are best friends.
What has been the determining factor that made our marriage work? I believe that the first and foremost aspect is our faith. My husband’s dedication to the Lord was what most attracted me to him in the first place. We share a common goal: to love God with all our heart, soul and mind, and to help our fellow man (Matthew 22:37–40).
The more we’ve grown in faith, the more we’ve grown together as well. Through the Bible we’ve learned cornerstone principles of humility, forgiveness, and mutual respect. For example, one of our first and most valuable lessons was not to “let the sun go down on our anger” (Ephesians 4:26). We saw early on that we couldn’t let little grievances become big issues. Maybe we can’t talk about a conflict in the heat of the moment, but we trust one another enough to know we will be able to work things out.
We also learned that good humor is like medicine (Proverbs 17:22) to ease hurts and keep us from overreacting. As Harold Nicolson said, “The great secret of a successful marriage is to treat all disasters as incidents, and none of the incidents as disasters.” The proverb that says “a soft answer turns away wrath” (Proverbs 15:1) also helped to defuse a few potential flare-ups. And above all, we remember that love covers a multitude of faults and shortcomings (1 Peter 4:8).
If you are searching for your “significant other,” I would advise that you look for someone who shares your faith and has the same major goals in life. Talk about topics like handling finances and starting a family. Include God in your marriage and He will take care of the molding process as you commit your union to His care.