When I was about 13, troubles in my family, a friend dying in a car accident, and the influence of an atheist teacher caused me to doubt the existence of God. So, I declared I was an atheist.
When I was 17, the movie “Godspell” was released. I went to see it out of curiosity. I enjoyed it so much that I saw it six times. Then at age 18, I prayed to receive Jesus in my heart, again out of curiosity. I thought, If this is real, something will happen. If it’s not real, I have nothing to lose.
A few months later, curiosity led me to pick up a friend’s New Testament. I couldn’t stop reading it until I had read all four Gospels, which took all afternoon. I experienced the same sensation I had had when watching the movie “Godspell.” There was something that captivated me.
At 19, I joined a Christian youth group and would talk to other young people about Jesus and the Gospel. But a voice kept whispering to me, saying: “You don’t believe in God! What are you doing in this group? Don’t be a hypocrite! Leave!” I knew enough about the Bible by then to suspect that that might be the voice of the Devil. Yet my earlier years of unbelief still influenced me at times, and one night I prayed: “God, if You exist, You are going to have to prove that to me. Otherwise, I will stop serving You tomorrow.”
That night I dreamed that a being of light appeared to me. He had the face of a beautiful young man, and he had little stars twinkling around him, as if he were traveling in space. He looked me straight in the eyes, and without moving his lips, said: “God sent me here to tell you that He exists!” Then as quickly as he had appeared, he disappeared!
I woke with a start and went outside to look at the starry sky. I felt so important to God that He had answered my prayer, sending an angel, of all things! I also felt so loved by God by the fact that He didn’t want me to turn away from Him.
Since that day I have never doubted the existence of a loving God, and I have tried to follow Jesus the best I can. I understand how people sometimes lose faith in God when things go wrong. But I also see God’s omnipotence, because even when I wasn’t following Him, He was following me.