The Bible says we are to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. But what about letting our neighbor love us as he loves himself?
This is difficult for many of us. We concentrate on learning to freely give, but how many of us know how to freely receive? Do we realize that recognizing our limitations and being open to receiving an act of kindness can also be a way of loving others? What might make us shy away from accepting others’ help? Perhaps it is humbling. We might be inwardly proud of our independence, or we don’t want to feel indebted to anyone. Possibly we feel unworthy of the thoughtfulness expressed through the act of kindness.
Once I was learning how to sew patchwork. I made a square design on cloth and wanted to make it into a bag. I asked a seamstress friend if she would make the bag for me. It turned out beautifully. What a sweet touch of love! I kept asking her how much I owed her, and she kept insisting that there was no charge. I must have become annoying because after perhaps her fifth refusal of my money, she seemed frustrated and said, “Can’t you let someone do something nice for you?” I realized I had not learned how to let others help me.
It’s also nice to receive compliments, but it can be hard to accept a compliment gracefully without protesting, “No, it was nothing!” Then the other person needs to insist on giving you appreciation—and on it goes. How about simply responding with, “Thanks! I’m glad to help” or “Thank you, it’s very kind of you to say that.” We can make them happy that they made us happy. It’s a win-win situation.
I have found that most people like feeling useful and being appreciated. They really mean it when they say, “What can I do to help you?” Such an offer is a manifestation of the confidence that comes with real friendship and is a part of building community.
My neighbor raises chickens and delights in handing me a few eggs when I pass by his house. He’s a bit lonely and most likely the eggs are his way to start up a conversation. His face lights up when I thank him.
Jesus taught that it is more blessed to give than to receive (Acts 20:35). To be a giver, there needs to be a receiver. Let’s learn how to be both.