“Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10).
This powerful Bible verse has been a source of comfort and strength to me in times when life presented tough choices. Making decisions that could alter the course of your life can be daunting, especially when the outcomes remain uncertain. Yet, as I reflect on my life’s journey, I see how those pivotal moments—sometimes thrust upon me—ultimately worked out for the best.
Let me share one such experience.
Eighteen years ago, one of my children living abroad needed my help. I had recently moved in with another of my children to assist with my young grandchildren, and I had also been deeply involved in work that I loved. Dropping everything and traveling across the world was a daunting prospect. Yet, the choice was clear when I learned of the circumstances surrounding caring for my six-month-old grandson.
I packed a bag and traveled overseas, expecting a short stay. But three months later, I faced a life-altering decision: Should I apply for permanent residency and remain, or return “home” to my other responsibilities, work, and belongings? The longing for familiar surroundings weighed heavily on me, but so did the undeniable pull to remain where I was needed most.
Ordinarily, I would have listed all the pros and cons. The cons certainly seemed overwhelming: staying meant leaving behind my work, financial security, and every earthly possession I had except what had fit in my suitcase. But then there was the one undeniable pro—looking into my grandson’s eyes. The sacrifices faded into the background compared to being present for him when he needed me most.
So, I stayed.
Eighteen years later, I can confidently say it was the right decision. The challenges were real, but they led to personal growth and new opportunities I never imagined. I found support—emotional and financial—from unexpected sources, and the path ahead, though unclear at first, became brighter with each step.
That little boy, as it turns out, is autistic. I cared for him full-time during his early years, and later part-time as his parents became more involved. Nearly five years ago, just as I considered stepping away to visit and help my other children, life presented another pivotal decision.
That same boy, now a teenager, once again needed my full-time care. In August 2020, I rearranged my life and home to accommodate his living with me. It was a new chapter, filled with learning curves and challenges, but also profound joy and purpose.
Today, that teenager is thriving. He graduated from high school and is pursuing a career in IT support while working part-time. His journey inspires me daily, reminding me of the importance of saying “yes” when called upon, even when the future is unclear.
In turn, my experiences with him led me to new opportunities. I became a Certified Autism Resource Specialist and now share my knowledge and experience with families, caregivers, and educators. Through training and advocacy, I’ve learned that, while the journey with autism can be challenging, love, patience, and understanding can unlock the potential within every child.
Reflecting on these life-altering decisions, I find reassurance in knowing that no matter the challenges, as Christians, “we know [with great confidence] that God [who is deeply concerned about us] causes all things to work together [as a plan] for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to His plan and purpose” (Romans 8:28 AMP). When life calls for courage, we can find peace in knowing and trusting God.
It Begins with the Leap
I’ve leaped a lot in my life, especially in recent years. I leaped into moving to Nebraska (okay, maybe we call that one “was dragged against her will”). I leaped into faith. I leaped into writing. Most recently I’ve leaped into public speaking. At some point in the midst of all these leaps, I’ve smacked into a wall—a wall of disappointments, doubts, failures, frustrations and fear.
Leaping is scary. Yet I also believe that despite the risks and the fear, it’s necessary. Because if you don’t ever leap, you won’t ever know what could have been. And what could have been might have made all the difference.
For me, leaping has made the difference between unbelief and faith. It’s made the difference between living passively and living passionately. It’s made the difference between existing comfortably in the box and thriving in the wild open.
It’s true, sometimes when you leap you fall; sometimes you smack hard into a wall and get the wind knocked clean out of you. But sometimes you soar. You may not realize it in the moment, but in leaping you are soaring into the start of something new, something beautiful and life-changing and good.
It all begins with the leap.—Michelle DeRusha 1
The badge of courage does not require that we walk through something dangerous. It simply requires that we continue to share God’s love whenever and wherever we are.—Tom White
- Michelle DeRusha, “It Begins with the Leap,” The Lincoln Journal Star, May 15, 2015. ↑