We’re at a restaurant and one of my kids turns to me and says, “Mom, what do I want to eat?” Because I am a well-seasoned mom, I respond with “I don’t know!” This teenager can read, drive, and work, she does not need me to make this decision for her.

Sometimes I think we try to make life decisions the same way as my daughter did. When faced with a choice we say, “God, tell me what to do!” as if God’s going to weigh in on all our little decisions. But God could say something like “Nope, I’ve already given you boundaries and you have access to the information you need to make this decision.” Like any good parent, God wants us to take ownership of our decisions, to move in accordance with our faith, to learn, grow, try, fail, stretch and develop within our capacity.

This might sound contradictory to God’s promise that He will direct our paths (Proverbs 3:6 NKJV) or that He will give us the desires of our heart (Psalm 37:4). But I think it’s very similar to how I taught my kids to eat wisely. When they were little, I deliberately fed them nutrient-dense foods and avoided junk food. I gradually exposed them to a wide variety of foods and flavors. I had them work in the kitchen with me, grocery shop with me, and generally be a part of the A to Z of feeding a household. As older teens and young adults they’re now all capable in the kitchen and grocery store, so I don’t get too involved in their decisions about food.

This is similar to how God has given us His Word. He’s shown us His heart, we can see what He loves and what He hates, and through that we can develop an understanding of God’s will. Does that mean that we approach every decision with clarity? No. It means that as long as we are not straying from the boundaries of God’s Word, we have the freedom to learn, try, retry, and stretch.

James 1:5 says, If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you” (NIV). The first place to look for wisdom is in the Bible. God’s will and wisdom are not generally going to come to us by miraculous revelation, but rather through the direction He has already given us in His Word.